Safety & Community Resources
Resources built for kink, ENM, and LGBTQ+ communities — not resources that make you explain yourself first.
Our community deserves resources built for us. We've compiled consent education, crisis support, and safety guidelines that mainstream apps have never offered. Whether you need help understanding consent in kink dynamics, navigating ENM relationships, or accessing crisis support from people who understand your relationships — we've got you.
24/7 Crisis Support
Confidential crisis resources staffed by people who understand kink, ENM, and LGBTQ+ relationships. No explaining required.
The Network/La Red
For LGBTQ+, polyamorous, and kink community members experiencing partner abuse.
1-617-742-4911National Domestic Violence Hotline
Safety planning, resources, and support for domestic violence survivors.
1-800-799-7233Consent Education
Consent is the foundation of everything we do. Understanding and practicing consent is essential in kink, ENM, and all relationship dynamics.
Consent in Kink
Negotiate before play. Discuss hard and soft limits. Establish safewords. Check in during scenes. Provide aftercare. Kink without consent is abuse — no exceptions.
Consent in ENM/Poly
Discuss relationship agreements openly. Be transparent with all partners. Respect metamours' boundaries. Renegotiate as needs change. Honor existing relationship agreements.
Digital Consent
Ask before sending explicit photos. Respect photo-sharing boundaries. Get permission before sharing conversations. Honor requests to delete content. Screenshots without permission violate trust.
When Consent Cannot Be Given
Under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Asleep or unconscious. Under duress or coercion. Under the legal age (18+). If any of these apply, consent is not possible.
Safety Guidelines
Your safety is our top priority. These guidelines are designed specifically for the unique situations our community faces.
Before Meeting
- Video chat first
- Google their name and number
- Share your plans with a trusted friend
- Set up a check-in time
- Trust your gut — always
First Meetings
- Meet in public places
- Bring your own transportation
- Stay sober for first meetings
- Keep your phone charged
- Have an exit strategy planned
Safer Sex Practices
- Discuss STI status openly
- Use barrier protection
- Get tested regularly
- Share test results honestly
- Respect disclosure and privacy
Kink Safety
- Educate yourself on activities before trying them
- Start slow and communicate throughout
- Have safety tools ready (scissors for bondage, etc.)
- Know basic first aid
- Never play alone for edge play
Digital Safety
- Don't share personal information immediately
- Use the app's encrypted messaging
- Be cautious with location sharing
- Report suspicious behavior
- Use our privacy features if threatened
Red Flags
- Pressure to meet immediately
- Avoiding video calls
- Disrespecting stated boundaries
- Love bombing or moving too fast
- Asking for money
- Refusing to discuss consent or safety
Community Education
Whether you're new to alternative lifestyles or a seasoned community member, these resources are here to support your journey.
Kink-Aware Therapy
Find therapists who understand kink, ENM, and alternative lifestyles without judgment.
kapprofessionals.orgNational Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)
Advocacy, education, and legal resources for the kink and non-monogamy communities.
ncsfreedom.orgRelationship Styles
OPEN/secret supports 10 relationship styles: Solo Poly, Kitchen Table Polyamory, Parallel Polyamory, Hierarchical ENM, Non-Hierarchical ENM, Relationship Anarchy, Open Relationship, Monogamish, Swinging, and more. Your structure, your way.
105+ Ways to Express Yourself
Gender identities, sexual orientations, relationship styles, kinks (26+ options), desires, and lifestyle preferences. We built the most comprehensive profile system so you can be authentically you.
Your Safety Matters
OPEN/secret is a platform for connection, but we cannot guarantee the safety or conduct of all users. Always prioritize your safety and trust your instincts. If you ever feel unsafe, use our Report and Block features immediately, or contact the crisis resources listed above.